Sister McKay Dickson: Week 72: Fair Enough!

This week was a good one! Hope its been good for everyone back home. The work is going pretty well, nothing too crazy as far as updates. Still, I hope you enjoy my email that I decidedly to finally write on time :))

Things to know:

- I'm officially old. I got my plan this week. (For those who don't know what that is, it is plans for missionaries returning home in the next transfer). I really don't know how to feel about it. I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited to be home with my family, but I also don't want to say goodbye to something that has been such a lifechanging experience for me. Very mixed feelings... good thing its not yet.

- The fair came to Lewiston and we did some volunteer hours this week for our community service, and at the end of it they gave us FREE ADMISSION! So we may or may not have been to the fair a couple of times during our lunch times this last week. We had yummy food and saw all the fun animals and things. Wished I could have gone on all of the rides lol!

- Kerby came to church and had his baptismal interview yesterday too! He is all ready to go for this next Sunday and we couldn't be more excited for him. It's going to be a GOOD weekend with his baptism and with General Conference! Woohoo!

- We had a fun dinner with some members and their less active son was there and we invited him to come to YSA today. We show up to church today and see not only that he came, but that he brought a friend too!!

- Got to go on a mini exchange with Sister Lundell on Monday night because the STL's are supposed to meet our on dates! It was fun to be with her again for the night :))

- Sister Mac and I were having a little bit too much fun during a zoom call this week and our camera got turned off... hahah

Stories of the week/spiritual thought:

JUST A LITTLE FYI THIS ONE IS A BIT LONG AND PERSONAL SO YEAH !! :,)

- I don't know why I feel like I should put this in my weekly, because its pretty personal and I usually like to keep my emails pretty positive...but here I am! These last couple of months (and honestly my whole mission on and off) I have struggled with some very real mental and emotional challenges. Ones I didn't even know I had lol, that had come as a result of some tough experiences in the past. And the mission really only brought them all to the surface haha. I never thought I would be someone to struggle with these things, and so I always just tried to put on a smile and pretend everything was fine. (I had gotten really good at doing it over the last couple of years!). I kept focusing on others because that's what I was here to do! Haha forget yourself and go to work am I right?! Thankfully it hasn't been severe enough that I've had to return home, but at times it has affected the work, my companions, and the way I feel about myself & God. I would go through phases of doing really well, and then suddenly one thing would send me spiraling back to what felt like square one. After lots of ups and downs and talking with friends, family, counselors, and my mission president I decided to go to the doctors this week and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. This may come as a surprise to some since I seem like a very happy person, or I at least try to be. And I'm sure many of you will think "oh sure hop on the bandwagon with everyone else who thinks they have mental health issues these days". It is your choice if you want to judge. I don't share this because I'm looking for pity or anything, but I share this because the struggles I have been through on my mission are real and I felt like it was time to share what I had been going through. It hasn't been anywhere near easy, but because of Jesus Christ, His Atonement, and what I have learned on my mission, I have received so much strength and healing! My burdens may not be taken away, but because of Him they are made light. I am grateful that He has never left my side throughout this whole endeavor, even if I may not have felt Him there at times. I am grateful that He inspired me to seek more help, and while I know that this can't just be healed overnight, I've at least received some answers that I have been searching for my entire mission. If you are struggling with anything similar and need someone to talk to, please message me! I know what it feels like to feel like you have no one to turn to, and it is miserable keeping it to yourself. And whether you are on a mission or not, know that the power of Christ is real and is essential for helping you during times of trial. He does not look down on you for your weaknesses and struggles, He is there rescue you. (Even though that rescuing may look different for each of us!) I am grateful for these experiences on my mission that have taught me this, and could learn that above all God loves me and is proud of me. Still haven't quite learned how to worry less about what others think of me, but I felt like it was time to stop being ashamed and be real with you all. I hope that this could help someone, or at least make everyone aware that my life isn't as picture perfect as it seems ;)) I am grateful for all the prayers, love, and support that I have received over my mission. Special shout out to all my companions for being so patient, compassionate, and kind through everything! I know that these struggles are nowhere near over, but I know that with God: Nothing shall be impossible!!!

Some good references quoted above:

- Luke 1: 37 - "For with God nothing shall be impossible.

- Matthew 11: 28-30 - "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.

For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light"

- Mosiah 24:14 - "And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions"

- Acts 20:19 - "Serving the Lord with all humility of mind, and with many tears, and temptations..."

Also have some good general conference talks I've been studying lately on similar topics let me know if you'd want them :))

Love ya'll so much!

Until next time

Sister Dickson

P.S.

Thank you to those who sent me letters this last week, it was much appreciated.

My mailbox is still open for more too.

1319 Grelle Avenue

Lewiston, Idaho 83501

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